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By André Aciman

In those fourteen essays Andre Aciman, essentially the most poignant stylists of his iteration, dissects the event of loss, relocating from his pressured departure from Alexandria as undefined, even though his short remain in Europe and at last to the house he is made (and part invented) on Manhattan's higher West Side.

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What made it so spellbinding might have been leaving Italy, which I disliked in those days, or the joy of going to Paris, where everyone said we would eventually move. Or perhaps it was simply the oncefamiliar, ordinary pleasure—now a luxury—of having a prolonged view, however imperfect, of the sea. For an Alexandrian, used to having the beach within sight all day long, it was like meeting a close sibling two years after a quarrel: an odd mix of strained familiarity, sudden intimacy, and wistful reminders that, despite embraces, things might never be the same.

Meant: How do I take this stunning expanse back to America? And why, why be so tempted now that I’ve made my peace with America? Isn’t it pointless to be given this blue, which I love so much but which I’ve grown to love if for no other reason than because I’ve allowed myself to think it could exist only in memory and is therefore unreal? What do you do with so much blue once you’ve seen it? came almost as a reproach, as though I were misexperiencing the sea in the same way, as an adolescent in Egypt, I never wanted to go to the beach for fear of running into those I was dying to meet and pretended to avoid and hoped they’d ask me why.

Sit Vivi,” she says, Mme Vivi. I am almost on the verge of shaking. Vivi was my great-aunt. “They left,” she says. Of course they left, I want to shout, we all left thirty years ago! ” I ask. ” When will they be back? She looks at me with a blank stare. No one has occupied the apartment since. I know that if I push the matter and tip her well, I might persuade her to show me the apartment. But the thought of a dark apartment where no one’s been for three decades frightens me. Who knows what I’d find creeping about the floor, or crawling on the walls.

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